Waves and windows

Hey, hope you are all well! I’ve been feeling over all more decent the last few days or so. Windows have been longer, morning dread is less, waves have been less intense but still rough. Actuallly woke up yesterday morning and felt the best ive felt the last 4 weeks or so. But then comes yesterday noon, getting heavily triggered at around noon and lasting all the way until today! Been eating very healthy, non sugar, organic, non processed meat rich diet, but fell hard last night. Slammed probably 600cals of pure sugar(candy) and felt immediately worse and more anxious(was feeling that the whole day). I had such a awful night last night. Intense paresthesia, adrenaline surge, panic, doom, fear etc. I have OCD and it definitely plays a part in my tapering journey(adding a layer on the withdrawals), so im trying not to be too rigid with things. Fear of fear is quite high, so fear of getting worse, fear of never getting better, fear of waves etc. Its the first few days in a row that I’ve felt somewhat decent since the first week of withdrawals. Why does it trend in that direction and then BOOM feeling like you’re back at square one, aka a permanent wave? Ps I’m going to start low dose lithium orotate. Only at 1mg to start with