I have been on daily diazepam since I was in a house fire 2 years ago and became homeless. I've been forced to move back in with my family who are emotionally abusive and I have CPTSD. On Friday I saw my psychiatrist and she suggested dropping my daily 5mg dose of diazepam to 4mg because it doesn't do anything but stop me from going into withdrawal. I agreed, reluctantly. But the more I think about it, the more I realise this was a stupid decision right now. I'm trying to navigate getting into stable, safe accommodation, and that takes a lot of admin and focus. I also just lost my psychologist as she is leaving private practice this month. I have also additionally ended 20 months of DBT group therapy that I relied on as a “safety net”.. I have successfully dropped from 25mg to 5mg over the last year but I am holding at 5mg because it keeps me relatively “functional.” now my psychiatrist has also instructed me to take another medication called agomelatine on top of this for sleep which I found out is expensive. Given my current triggers revolve around my family and I'm constantly on edge what is the situation around tapering in a certain environment when someone is going through multiple external stressors and changes? I've got severe agoraphobia due to the current environment I'm in being a source of my cptsd trigger and it triggers worsening depsrsonalisation and derealisation when I leave the house, along with flashbacks and flooding memories. I'm feeling really overwhelmed to drop any further as I'm not coping and haven't stopped crying since Friday. I can't really eat, and this morning I woke up in a cold sweat with akathesia thinking I was going to die. I could hear everything that was going on in the house as my brother and dad left for work. I already have sensory issues and triggers around startle responses due to loud noises and i don't want to push my nervous system into overload. What should I do? Should I reinstate to my 5mg as I was okay on that dose, sure it's not optimal but it was fine and I have so many things to organise and figure out and I cannot function when I feel like this. Nothing is helping with the respite. Not exercise. Not cold showers. Going into the sun to go in the pool yesterday to cool down made me nearly pass out/vomit and I had some kind of migraine attack until I went to bed and took my Topiramate. I don't know what to do. She sent me 2mg with 50 tablets x 3 repeats and 10 PRN 5mg. I have enough of the 50 2mg to technically reinstate until the next appointment on December 4th… I need advice because I feel like I'm heading into a crisis. I went through a w/d back in the beginning of 2024 and it was absolute hell. I don't want to go through it again without having a safe space as my family is horrible, rude and judgemental to me and can make everything worse if anything happens and they decide to have me sectioned because I have a bad reaction to this poison. I need help. Pls give advice, I cannot stop crying, it's been 4-5 days of this and it's just getting progressively worse and I have so much to do this week, thanks.
Valium — 2 years, 2 months — holding | Topamax — 25mg — 3 years, 3 months — actively tapering | other — 3mcg — 3 years, 9 months — supporting others | other — 30mg — 3 years, 3 months — supporting others
Oh Songbird, that is a truly dreadful situation you are in, and while I'm not a doctor, 13 years ago I got myself addicted to valium/diazapam and went through suffering you wouldn't believe, so perhaps I can give you some advice that may help a little bit. Firstly this isn't a great time to be tapering; it can be made a lot harder because the nervous system is already under a load with your family situation etc. But if you do want to taper anyway, just make it one drug. Not only because 1 taper is stressing that nervous system of yours, but it will be saying "Two? Please no!" And if withdrawals start, you won't know for sure which drug is causing the problem. And then, dropping from 5mg to 4mg is a 20% drop, reductions, at the most, should be no greater than 10% of the current dose to avoid bad withdrawals, even less. I really feel you need to focus first on getting a nicer place to live, where people are nice to you, and my (ok, not an expert, but this is what I would do) opinion is you should get right back on the 5mg that you were ok on, for the time being.. You really need supportive people around you, you aren't well, and this is none of your fault that things have turned out like this. Hang in there as best you can. Best, R.
Seroquel — 69 mg — 13 years — actively tapering
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