5th Effexor Update - Feeling Good (mostly)

Feeling good this morning and in a good mood, but noticing the return of some old habits I haven’t had in a while- mainly talking to myself, like a lot. Feeling super weirded out by this and all of the emotions and mood swings, which in turn is making me anxious… one minute I’m euphoric and happy and the next suddenly I’m devastated and crying about something. I’ve always avoided my emotions (which I think is how I ended up getting diagnosed/prescribed meds in the first place!) so I’m taking everything as it comes and sitting with it. I had therapy yesterday and was encouraged to keep journalling and cry as needed, haha. Been having bouts of nausea (so annoying, I’m never nauseated normally so this is uncomfortable), crying spells, fatigue, GI upset, appetite changes (probably mostly because of the nausea), and muscle aches (uncertain if this is from recent physical activity or made worse by withdrawal?). I have my first follow up appt with my psychiatrist today and plan to present her with all of my symptoms and emphasize what happened when trying to skip a dose and that I really do not want to add any other meds (if she suggests it). Just differentiating between what is me and what is Effexor/withdrawal is hard enough as it is, and it scares me to think about the potential additional complications that may come with combining medications and having to taper off those later. I think I’m just really scared reading how hard it’s been for everyone here and wish I could avoid it (like everything else, lol) but I don’t want to be on this med any longer. I’m not above counting beads but hoping I can find something that works for me that is a bit less time consuming? I may try counting them for the first time today- maybe its not as bad as it seems.