now I KNOW 12 hours of sleep isn't BEST for EVERYONE EVERY DAY, but for someone who has suffered HELL-SOMNIA...(NO SLEEP AT ALL AT NIGHT for months on end) I'm relishing it now.
Over the past two weeks I had been getting "only" 8 hours. LOL...and I wondered if the shift was because my body was rebelling against ONLY 1 mg of Paxil.
But, there was another factor...SOCIALIZING. Three things converged to affect my introverted, drugged-up nervous system:
-I found this friendly, informative forum and began posting like a maniac cuz I was so excited
-An old friend came back into my life and I DOVE RIGHT IN as if I had no health issues, and had to backtrack and explain to her that I couldn't be as social as she was
-I started attending IN -PERSON stuff again. I realized I couldn't wait to "start my life" for 3-5 more years as I tapered. I wanted to live now
I was feeling anxious and unsure about all the change, but HAPPY because I knew I could build my tribe again. (I have moved a lot and have been in my current locale a little over a year.) So I was waking up several times a night to pee...and then hitting the WAKE WALL at around 8. It wasn't terrible. BUT I'm TAKING FOUR SEDATIVES. I WANT MY MONEY'S WORTH. LOL
Last night was different. I didn't wake at all except at around 7 to pee. Then fell blissfully back asleep until almost 11. That's what I"m talking about right there!
Before meds, I needed 9 hours of sleep to feel my best. My anxiety gave me an average of 5, with an occasional 8 or 9 when stress was low. BUT I SLEPT EVERY NIGHT. I don't have to explain to all of you that wide-awake-but-I'm-so-tired feeling that psych-drug insomnia causes. I never want to go back there again.
But I may. And I want to remember this day. I get revved up by socializing and changes. That's normal. But IF I WAIT and DON'T PANIC, "Junior*" calms back down. YAYYYYYYY.
*A spiritual writer I like, Agnes Sanford, called the nervous system "junior." I don't have my own nickname yet, so i'm borrowing hers.Sign in to share your experience and connect with others.
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