Struggling hard

Hi again. I'm really struggling. Symptoms are getting worse despite holding 4.2mg for 46 days. (bead counting method, now at 21 beads) . More withdrawal symptoms hitting me than 4 weeks ago. I'm exhausted from it all. From my mistake in January when I did 2 reductions both too large and too fast (32 beads- 26beads-21 beads in 3 weeks) plus my subsequent erratic pattern of going up and down bead counts trying to find relief, and my switch from beads to liquid then back to beads Im now so destabilised. So I stopped all changes, stuck with 21 beads and am holding. But almost 7 weeks later, it feels like it's getting worse, not settling. I did think about going to Dr to try cross taper to something else but I've read horror stories about this and it's yet another change so not sure it's the right thing to do. Any information, experience, support etc very much appreciated please