I been cold turkeyed and fast tapered so many times have i destroyed my brain permanently?

I was prescibe clozapine, abilify, thp, and valporate i was at the hospital for 1 week i was so sleepy because i was prescibe high dose of clozapine, the doctor slowly lower the dose of all of my meds clozapine 100 mg to 75 mg to 50 mg and 25 mg the same with the rest of the meds, after i was home i slowly feel i need to move my legs at first i didn't think much of it but after i have to shake my entire body just to find a relief i was immedietly talk to my doctor about it, she lower med of clozapine and abilify from 25 mg to 12.5 mg to 0 mg in the span of 5 days then i was send home and send to a general doctor to deal with the rest of the meds and she gave me propanolol to deal with the akathisia at home the akahisia is gone because of the propanolol but i can barely sleep then after few days i was laughing uncontrolably and get send the the hospital again then i got send to a different hospital, cold turkeying valporate and thp, in that hospital i was prescribe clozapine, risperidone, odete, and thp, i was there for 2 weeks, i experience akathisia there because of no propanolol, the akathisia spike for the first few days i was there then disapear then spike again at the few days before the end of 2 weeks then after that i was send home and still on the meds then after 1 week my doctor reduce the clozapine from 25 mg to 12.5 mg i told her about the akathisia but she dismissed it, then she left me with a note of clozapine and odete being crossed over then after a month i go there again, and there is not the same doctor but because of the note of the previous doctor i got cold turkey again off clozapine 12.5 mg and odete 4 mg and i got headace and nausea for 10 days after that, then its gone but the akathisia is still there the akathisia then spike up again to full body shaking and then going down slowly again in 1 or two months it became very very low and then its gone, then after a month i went to the doctor again she then have a plan to get me off the risperidone 4 mg and thp 4 mg the plan is reduce the dose 1 mg every 2 weeks then at 1 mg take the meds every 2 days and then every 3 days and then done, at first i agreed, but at 1 mg i changed the plan because i research skipping days is dangerous i go 1 mg to 0.5 mg, then this the time the pain in my back started first it is non stop pain in my back maybe it is not pain it feels like crawling sensation then after 2 days the constant pain stop now it only happened when i wake up or lay down now it only happened sometimes when i lay down or wake up in the morning it's been 2 - 3 months, i will start tapering my 0.5 of risperidone and 0.5 of thp properly this time FUCK ALL OF THOSE DOCTORS WHO DID THIS TO ME I HOPE I HAVEN'T RUINED MY BRAIN PERMANENTLY