Hi @Vinnie, welcome!
I'm sorry about your health anxiety. There are ways to handle this problem naturally and without the use of drugs. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is great for this! Here is some free education about it:
https://taper.community/thread/31d4a5cb-737e-4eec-8449-1894a8a9747c
I'm really sorry about the unexpected death that happened and how it affected you. That can really cause added stress in our life.
I can hear your frustration about the Lexapro side effects and taper. I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. I know you want off of it, but unfortunately this process can't be rushed. As the other member pointed out, perhaps you're tapering a bit too fast. It might be best to hold your dose where you're at for awhile until things settle down. They will in time, so hang in there.
When you feel ready you can reduce again, but you may want to make a smaller reduction. Are you tapering Hyperbolically? If not, you'll want to learn about that in the Resources section. Basically, you don't want to reduce anymore than 10% each month from the previous month's dose. The doses will therefore get small and smaller as time goes on. The greatest changes in serotonin receptors happen at very low doses.
Here are some helpful links for you that should arm you with some knowledge to help you on your tapering journey. You're never alone and can reach out anytime you need help!
https://taper.community/drugs/lexapro
https://taper.community/forums/lexapro
https://taper.community/resources/blog/how-to-taper-off-lexapro
https://taper.community/thread/57d0fb51-6e6e-4517-9d3d-1dd2f2e3880c
Catina 🌸
Venlafaxine (tapering) - Current dose 17.92 mg
Trazodone - 50 mg
Levothyroxine - 25 mcg
“Your brain and body know how to heal. Trust the process and keep going.”
Please Note: I am not a healthcare professional. Any advice given is based on personal experience and that of others in the lay withdrawal community.