Hi, I'm Spiro C

My Story – Severe Nervous System Crash After Long-Term SSRI + Medication Changes (Looking for Recovery Experiences) Hi everyone, I’ve been going through the most difficult period of my life over the past few months and wanted to share my full story. I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has experienced something similar and come out the other side. Quick Timeline (for clarity) 10+ years: Stable on Zoloft + regular cannabis use July 2025: Rapid taper off Zoloft → anxiety, panic, burnout July–Aug 2025: Prescribed Xanax 0.5 mg daily (~1 month) Oct 2025: Rehab → diagnosed Bipolar 2 → started Lithium 150 mg, Gabapentin 600 mg, Seroquel 200 mg Dec 2025: Rapid Seroquel taper (200 → 25 mg over weeks) Jan 2026: Severe crash (akathisia, DPDR, insomnia, terror) Early 2026: Restarted Zoloft → still severely unstable Tried Zyprexa (1 dose) → extreme reaction Psych ward: Lamotrigine 100 mg + Gabapentin + Seroquel reinstated to 200 mg + Zoloft Given Geodon injection → extreme akathisia Post-discharge: Severe depression, DPDR, anxiety, SI Second rehab: Med simplification → now on Seroquel 75 mg, Zoloft 125 mg, clonazepam Background I was on Zoloft for over 10 years for anxiety and was relatively stable. I also smoked cannabis regularly since my late teens. Before all of this, I was: High functioning In great physical shape Doing well financially In a 4-year relationship I felt like a strong, capable version of myself. Coming Off Zoloft (July 2025) I decided to come off Zoloft and tapered relatively quickly. Soon after: Anxiety increased significantly Panic attacks started I hit burnout During this time, I was prescribed Xanax 0.5 mg daily for about a month. It helped short-term, but looking back, may have added another layer of instability when stopped. Rehab & Medication Changes (October 2025) I entered rehab and was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 (despite never having clear manic or hypomanic episodes). I was started on: Lithium 150 mg Gabapentin 600 mg Seroquel 200 mg I struggled badly with Seroquel—it made me feel flat, disconnected, and unlike myself. Rapid Seroquel Taper (December 2025) Because of how I felt, I tapered Seroquel quickly: 200 mg → 100 mg → 50 mg → 25 mg over a few weeks January 2026 – Severe Crash After this taper, I experienced a complete breakdown: Severe akathisia (inner restlessness / “electrical” feeling) Extreme anxiety and panic 2–3 hours sleep per night Intense DPDR (felt unreal / disconnected) Disorganized thinking Constant terror I was losing my mind I told my family I didn’t want to live if this was permanent. Further Medication Changes Another psychiatrist: Took me off Lithium Told me to restart Zoloft I worked up to 100 mg, but remained in a severe state: Deep depression Constant anxiety Suicidal thoughts Felt permanently damaged I was then told to stop Seroquel and try Zyprexa. I took one dose and had an extreme reaction—felt like I completely lost my mind. I called the psychiatrist the next day in a suicidal state and was admitted to a psychiatric ward. Psych Ward Experience In the ward: Started on Lamotrigine 100 mg Kept on Gabapentin (600 mg) Reinstated Seroquel up to 200 mg Continued Zoloft On my second night, I was given an injection of Geodon. This triggered the worst akathisia I’ve ever experienced. What followed: Severe suicidal depression Complete dissociation Extreme anxiety and terror Almost no sleep Total loss of connection to myself ECT was suggested, which I refused. After Discharge For the next 3 weeks: Extremely disoriented and disorganized Severe depression Constant anxiety Ongoing suicidal thoughts Second Rehab (Stabilization Attempt) At a second rehab facility, the psychiatrist simplified everything: Tapered off Lamotrigine and Gabapentin (~5 weeks) Reduced Seroquel to 75 mg Introduced clonazepam (1 mg/day) Where I Am Now Current meds: Seroquel 75 mg Zoloft 125 mg Clonazepam 0.5 mg twice daily Current symptoms: “Empty shell” depression Severe DPDR (feel unreal / disconnected) Constant anxiety Strange, unfamiliar thoughts Fear I’ve permanently damaged my brain I feel like an alien in my own body. I’ve gone from high-performing and driven → to barely functioning. I’ve also lost my relationship and am currently staying with my mom. What I’m Doing Now Going to the gym regularly Trying to maintain structure Started ketamine infusion therapy (2 sessions so far) Actively reducing obsessive researching (it made everything worse) My Biggest Fear That this has permanently changed me. It feels like: My personality is gone My emotions are gone My sense of self is gone My Questions I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has experienced something similar: Long-term SSRI use (10+ years) Cannabis use Short-term benzo use Rapid Seroquel taper Akathisia (especially from something like Geodon) Multiple medication changes in a short period Severe DPDR, depression, anxiety Specifically: Did the “empty shell” feeling lift? Did your mind start to feel like your own again? How long did it take? What helped you stabilize? Any advice on very slow tapering once stable? What I Think Happened (Open to Correction) Looking back, it feels like my nervous system became overwhelmed from a combination of: Coming off long-term Zoloft too quickly Short-term Xanax use during withdrawal Introduction of multiple CNS-active medications Rapid Seroquel taper Repeated medication changes and reinstatements Severe akathisia (especially after Geodon injection) It doesn’t feel like a natural progression of a disorder—it feels like my system became destabilized. Final Note I’m not looking for false reassurance—just honest experiences. Right now, this feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and I’m trying to understand whether people truly recover from this level of nervous system disruption. Thanks for reading. Spiro Current Medications (April 2026) * Zoloft 125mg (a.m.) * Seroquel 75mg (night) * Clonazepam 0.5mg (a.m.) ⸻ Drug History January 2013 Zoloft 100mg ~2021 Xanax 0.5mg PRN (once every 2 weeks) July 2025 Zoloft 0mg October 2025 Lithium 150mg October 2025 Gabapentin 600mg October 2025 Seroquel 200mg December 2025 Seroquel 25mg January 2026 Lithium 0mg January 2026 Zoloft 100mg January 2026 Zyprexa single dose January 2026 Geodon injection January 2026 Lamotrigine 100mg January 2026 Seroquel 200mg March 2026 Lamotrigine 0mg March 2026 Seroquel 75mg March 2026 Gabapentin 0mg March 2026 Clonazepam 0.5mg twice daily April 2026 Clonazepam 0.5mg April 2026 Zoloft 125mg April 2026 Seroquel 75mg ⸻ Taper / Change Details * July 2025: Tapered Zoloft from 100mg → 0mg over ~4 weeks: * Week 1: 50mg * Week 2: 25mg * Week 3: 12.5mg * Week 4: 0mg * December 2025: Tapered Seroquel from 200mg → 25mg over a few weeks (rapid taper) * January 2026: Lithium stopped (150mg → 0mg) * March 2026: Lamotrigine stopped (100mg → 0mg) * March–April 2026: * Tapered Seroquel from 200mg → 75mg over ~5 weeks * Tapered Gabapentin from 600mg → 0mg over ~5 weeks * Clonazepam: Started at 0.5mg twice daily → now 0.5mg morning only