Hi, I'm Rachel

I have been on a journey with psychiatric medications my entire adult life. Starting in my teens I was prescribed antidepressants and anxiety meds, then early in my twenties I started stimulants to treat ADHD. Over the years I have been prescribed a range of benzodiazepines, antidepressants, and stimulants to manage psychiatric symptoms I found out are most likely due to an asthma/allergy medication I’ve been on since age 10. I have a predisposition for depression, but it’s very likely all these years of attempts to diagnose and treat my mental health conditions were trying to treat the negative side effects of a med completely unrelated to mental health. After the black box warning came out regarding neuropsychiatric effects of the Singulair, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to stop a medication I’ve depended on for so long, but as I’m in my late 30s and have a young daughter, it’s been increasingly difficult to manage my brain chemistry and the damage that drug has done. I’m in the process of tapering off an SNRI to find a baseline without SSRI/SNRI changing my brain and I’m hoping to find the best way to manage symptoms before I stop the montelukast (singulair) this winter. That’s the plan as of now, but things change so consistently with the “toxicity” in my brain that I struggle each day with the person I am and the life I’ve lived having been damaged by a medication that seemed so innocent. I’m hoping to get support with symptoms while I taper off the SNRI right now and motivation that I’m doing the right thing. I have a long road ahead and I’m not sure what my diagnosis will look like at the end of it all, but taking care a a 3 year old full time while trying to manage my mental health has been overwhelming and exhausting. If you’ve read this far, thanks for giving my extremely short version of my story the time of day. Everyone has their own battles and I know I’m not alone in feeling like my mind is working against everything good in life. I truly just want to feel better and be the best mother and wife I can be. I look forward to what this community can do for me and what I may be able to give in relation to my own experiences over the years.