Hi, I'm Nessi

Hi @Nessi (Nancy), welcome! Nice to have you here. You're in good company here because all your fellow members understand what you're going through and can empathize. How long have you been tapering your Paxil? Is your psychiatrist knowledgable about Hyperbolic tapering? Are you familiar with it? If not, you can read about it in the Resources section. We support you wanting to live free of psychiatric drugs; we all share that same goal. Have a look around the site and the forums; there's lots of helpful information. Let us know if you have any questions or concerns and we'll be happy to help! Catina 🌼

Hi @Catina ! Thanks for your answer. I have started tapering since June 17th. My initial dose was 15mg for two years. Then I finally decided to take a step and start tapering. My doctor suggested I take off 2mg each month for 3 months. At the first month, i tolerated quite well, then the second, i was fine… not bad but not very good either…Because i started feeling « numb » and some irritability. Then, at the third, i took off other 2 mg in august 17th and after two weeks (around first september) I’m having all the symptoms back and they are quite intense. Fist; I wake up by anxiety attack and have immediate diarrhea and vomit, obviously I cant eat anything if not by forcing myself to. Only soups and bananas.. then all these thoughts..omg. Can anyone relate to the thoughts we have ! All catatrophic about the future, about my life and my decisions. Currently living abroad, and these thoughts get me paralysed by anxiety. Anything I can do is vomit. But im trying not too. Going through the day is very difficult. Other symptoms are tremors (hand), muscular reflexes moves, my hands and arms feel like burning, vision become blurry. I have to say that I noticed that these symptoms alleviate just a little bit and it becomes better during the evening (anyone else has had it like this?). I talked to my doctor about it and he said it is not withdrawal syndrome but my anxiety and my depression coming back and this pissed me off so much. I then told him, if that’s the case why didn’t I ever feel these symptoms before taking any of these medicines , especially with this intensity ! He also told me the method he suggested to taper was very careful already and he didnt know any other colleague that used as slow as this taper for paroxetine. I want also to explain that two years ago, i suffered deeply from benzodiazepine withdrawal cause my other mad psychiatrist took me out it cold turkey so I basically lost it. Litterally I thought I was gonna die. It took me 5 months to start fonctionning again while still on paroxetine, and one year to start to see hope again. But I started feeling a bit nothing, i was as if I was on anesthesia i wasnt sad but wasnt happy or motivated either. Then i read about paroxetine and that it could after some time give you this “anedonia” (anyone has experienced it?) Now I red online about other methods to taper, like alternating dose (ex, 9-8-9-8-9 for a months qnd then 8 for a months and then continuing. I am still suffering during this taper. My doctor said i should go up to 12mg again so my symptoms go away and then start to take off 1mg each month. But i want to still stay on 9 cause it’s been almost one week since im suffering and I want to see if eventually it will get better othewise ill feel sorry to come back to 12mg and i will have the feeling that i put myself through suffering for nothing. Now I really need you guys to tell me about your experiences cause I want to feel understood. I want to feel better and that I am doing something that will work. Successful stories and hope. Please. I dont want to give the idea that i have been suffering for 2 years non stop. I had better days thank god. But i just want to be off of these medications for good.

Hi @Nessi, thanks for providing all that information. First of all, I'm sorry your doctor was under the impression that your symptoms were your "anxiety and depression returning." I'm glad you realize that what you've been experiencing is withdrawal-related. You also underwent a difficult benzo taper before, which can leave the nervous system sensitized for quite a long time. I think you're wise to stay at the 9 mg and not make anymore changes. And when you do, it would be best to reduce by a smaller amount. It's best to take things very slowly to allow your body enough time to adjust to the changes. Also, many doctors recommend skipping days and alternating doses for tapering, but this is not recommended in the lay withdrawal community. Your brain needs as much consistency as possible while tapering, and these things are like playing ping-pong with your brain. The fact that you've had some good days is a very good sign. Healing is almost never linear and happens in windows and waves. Just because you're struggling does not mean you're failing. You just need to slow things down a bit and approach things a bit more gently and cautiously. The Symptoms and Self-Care section has good advice for symptoms. You can use the search bar at the top. In the meantime, here is some information that will help you give your body a good environment for healing: https://taper.community/thread/57d0fb51-6e6e-4517-9d3d-1dd2f2e3880c I hope this helps! Catina 🌸