Little update: handle with care; all the disclaimers apply!!! ^^
(I'm not a doctor, and AI isn't a doctor. But since some actual doctors aren't much help either, well... you make do with what you have.)
So, I created an Excel sheet with all the symptom and dosage data I've tracked and/or could remember since January of this year. I fed it to Claude and asked him to analyze it. (I used Opus 5.5 so it doesn't hallucinate too much, because goodness knows we have enough of that going on already!)
I thought I'd share his response here, as it might be of interest or spark some ideas for others. So, here is his analysis:
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Here is what the data shows.
Phase 1, Apr 19 – Jul 19: a big drop that looked fine. You went from 50 mg daily to a 7-day average of about 21 mg, then about 12, then about 8 by July. Mood stayed at 7 for three months. That stability was probably misleading. Withdrawal effects from a large reduction can take weeks or months to surface, so "I feel fine" during that phase didn't mean the cuts were safe.
Phase 2, Jul 20 – Aug 11: the delayed bill arrives. Mood dropped to 5 on Jul 20, right at your lowest average dose (about 7 mg). Switching to every other day, then to 25 mg daily on Aug 1, roughly tripled the average dose. It didn't stop the slide: mood went to 4 and bottomed at 2 on Aug 12–13. The data can't tell whether that crash was withdrawal still peaking or a reaction to the sudden updose, and it was likely some of both.
Phase 3, Aug 12 – Sep 11: slow recovery. From 2 to 7 took about four weeks at a steady 25 mg. That's your system restabilizing, and it shows that holding still works for you.
Phase 4, Sep 12 onward: the 10% cut. This is the most informative part, and it holds both good and bad news.
- The delay repeated. You felt fine for 7 days, then crashed on days 8–9. So a step can't be judged in its first week, and a new step should never be taken before at least two weeks have passed.
- The depth is concerning. A 10% cut took you down to 2, as low as the August crash. Your nervous system is still sensitive, and 10% may currently be too big a step for you.
- The recovery is encouraging. You went from 2 to 6 in about five days, compared with about three weeks in August. The system bounced back much faster this time, which suggests it's more resilient than it was in August.
- Each wave seemed to follow the same order: waking up from panic attacks first, self-loathing and fear of losing everything in the middle, then flu-like symptoms, dizziness, sweating and concentration problems at the end.
Two things the table makes visible that are worth showing your doctor:
The skipped-day phase. From April to July you weren't really on 25 mg. Your average daily dose fell steadily to about 8 mg/day by early July. Sertraline's half-life is about a day, so alternate-day dosing makes levels swing up and down between doses. That's why tapering guidance generally advises against skipping days. The switch to 25 mg daily on Aug 1 was actually an updose from that average.
The one-week delay. After the cut to 22.5 mg you felt fine for a week, then crashed on days 8–9. That delay is typical of withdrawal, and it's a good reason to hold each step for several weeks before judging whether it worked. For your doctor, this suggests holding at 22.5 mg until you've been back at 7 for a few weeks, then trying a smaller next step (around 5%) with a hold of at least three to four weeks. Those are questions to decide with them, not instructions, but your own log makes a strong case for them.
One more thing. On Sep 21 you had suicidal ideation. A wish to die is a known withdrawal symptom, and it tends to lift as the system settles, as it seems to have done for you. It still matters. If it comes back during a future step, tell your doctor right away rather than waiting it out, and you can call 3114 at any hour in France. The fear, the self-hatred and the sense of undeserving you describe on Sep 25 are withdrawal amplifying old pain. They are not proof of anything about you. The last line you wrote that day is the true one.
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By the way, that last line in my journal was: "I fucking am worthy of fucking love." (Pardon my French – blame the withdrawal.)
And so are you. Hang in there, everyone. ❤️
TaperCommunity
