Hi, I'm Ezio

My Story: From “Safe and Effective” to Protracted Withdrawal Everything started because of chest pains and dizziness. At the time, I was prescribed benzodiazepines to help with the symptoms. Later, my doctor told me that benzodiazepines were too dangerous for long-term use and that I should switch to an antidepressant instead — something that was described to me as “safe and effective.” That antidepressant was Paroxetine. For the first two years, everything seemed fine. I continued taking the medication and trusted the doctors completely. But eventually, I decided I wanted to reduce the dose and later stop the drug entirely. Around three months after discontinuing Paroxetine, my life collapsed. I developed a level of depression and anxiety I had never experienced before. I started suffering from severe generalized anxiety, intrusive thoughts, OCD symptoms, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, emotional instability, and many other terrifying symptoms. At the time, I had no idea these could be withdrawal symptoms. I genuinely believed I was losing my mind. Terrified, I went to a psychiatrist looking for help. Instead of recognizing withdrawal, I was prescribed even more psychiatric drugs: another antidepressant, Olanzapine at the maximum dose of 20 mg, benzodiazepines, and a mood stabilizer. Although I became somewhat more stable, I slowly started developing severe emotional numbness, anhedonia, sexual dysfunction, cognitive impairment, and many symptoms commonly associated with PSSD (Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction). Over the years, because I still wasn’t improving, my treatments kept changing. In total, I was prescribed around 35 psychiatric medications, including antidepressants, antipsychotics, benzodiazepines, and mood stabilizers. Eventually, I began to understand that what I was experiencing was not simply a “mental illness,” but what many people describe as protracted withdrawal syndrome. That realization changed everything. I started my tapering journey. Today, I have finally discontinued the antidepressant and lithium. I am still tapering Olanzapine, which I reduced from 20 mg to 2.5 mg, and Clonazepam, which I reduced from 3 mg to 0.5 mg. The process has been incredibly difficult. Every time I reduce the medications, intrusive thoughts, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and insomnia return. My emotions feel blunted, my sexuality has been deeply affected, and my cognitive abilities feel damaged. I have not been able to work for six years because of what happened to me. I share my story because I know I am not alone. Too many people are prescribed powerful psychiatric drugs without being properly warned about dependence, withdrawal, or long-term consequences. I still have a long road ahead of me, but I have not given up. I am currently trying different approaches to support my recovery, including a ketogenic diet, with the hope that it may help my brain and nervous system heal while I continue tapering the remaining medications. I hope one day I can fully reclaim my emotions, my mind, and my life.