Hi, I'm Charles

Not sure what to say. Was prescribed zoloft Nov. 2001 for panic attacks that had started after my adoptive mom died July 2001 from ovarian cancer (or the cancer medicine?) by the Unv of Maryland psychiatrist, never told I had to see them and medicine was just called into the pharmacy, no guidance on anything including the grief, rage, anger, abandonment and all the emotions that surface when you not only lose your mother as a teenager but the severity of same when it is actually the 2nd mother you lose. After moving to NYC to live with my adoptive father though he was never there. I never was told to not drink alcohol though I knew deep down it was bad but that is just passive suicidal ideation working as many know. When the zoloft stopped working my internal medicine doctor prescribed me cymbalta though I cannot recall if I asked him about it after seeing a TV advertisement (thanks USA for being only 1 of 2 countries that allows blood pharma tv advertising) or if he suggested it. Hard to say and I have no hard feeling about this particular doctor as my energy is better allocated elsewhere. He prescribed me cymbalta in Dec. 2008 and I cannot recall the initial dose. I never found a great psychiatrist as they all wanted to add medicine and didn't like being asked questions and so around 2016 or maybe 2018 (I cannot recall) I reduced down to 40mg, then went to 30mg maybe two-three years ago (sometime in 2023 or 2024), I attempted to titrate lower with bead counting but the withdrawal symptoms were fucking brutal. I have tried to get off Cymbalta approx. 11 different times. I had a couple of zoom calls with Dr. Mark Horowitz but since I was given up for adoption/relinquished as an infant in bogota colombia when I was 2 weeks old, I literally trust NO ONE so I have plenty of historical evidence to demonstrate the multiple professionals who claimed one thing yet either did another or made up the information they communicated [as many humans like to lie when they don't know an answer to a question(s)]. I have spent the past 10 or so years researching mental health modalities, mental health systems across the globe, I sit on my local county Community Services Board, I have had appts some recorded with many different psychiatrists, doctors, therapists, social workers all to learn what they knew or didn't know and better gauge the entire landscape. I have tried other healing modalities, researched neuroscience and the suggestibility of the human mind by various techniques as well as ordering hundreds of blood test biomarkers, some in NY some in other states due to NY not allowing many. I figured since there is no great health system in place and the medical system treats symptoms where rarely do doctors know root cause let along basic anatomy and physiology (I studied kinesiology in college) that I should spend the time to learn as much as I can from as many people as I can. I have contacted manufacturers of different pharmaceuticals, asked clinical and research questions, studied ingredient profiles, contacted senior officials at the FDA and those who do not agree with the FDA (how many people even know about accelerated approval pathways --- might think about what your doctor is prescribing you lol sorry!), and the list goes on. I am back to my journey of titration and experimentation and building a research project that includes locating all deprescribing practitioners compiling all of their knowledge, testing certain approaches and creating a new titration schedule for the duloxetine I am on (20mg) cross tapered with a different medicine (I have ADHD but cannot use adderall regularly and have executive functioning issues all officially diagnosed by neuropsychologist - oh how fun to be relinquished as an infant what an amazing way to fuck up the nervous system for life!). So, that is what I have. Hoping to learn and help others along the way. I am tenacious and relentless in all that I do but am an introvert-extrovert and social situations including humans puzzle me.