congratulations and thanks for checking in! Glad to see you doing pretty well.
Emotions are normal! They may feel all over the place now, but once you get used to feeling them again, I really do believe it will even out. Emotional blunting is a huge side effect! Hormones are a factor too! Compassion! Our society pathologizes everything.
Women in movies are stoic, unemotional...they can even beat up men! LOLOL. Not realistic at all. Our emotions are a wonderful gift.
For me, finding others who allow themselves to FEEL without acting out is tough. Either women are all buttoned up and stiff or out of control. BUT WE WHO HAVE SUFFERED SO MUCH can be different. We VALUE our emotions and pay attention to what they are trying to tell us.
For instance, I had a fight (the same fight we've been having for 20 years) with my husband last night. Afterward I felt afraid...afraid he might leave me, afraid I was being unreasonable, afraid they we will never get over this hurdle.
I asked myself--"how can this fear educate me?"
And I realized that I needed to change. The fight is about my trying to FIX him and make him the man I want him to be. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! And hey, it only took me 20 years to realize I have to change. I need to step away from some responsibilities in our marriage because its not good for me and I do it all BECAUSE I'M A CONTROL FREAK. Not because it's right.
Now doctors, (bless their evil, unenlightened, hearts) would have called my fear "Anxiety." maybe even OCD or Bi Polar.
ALL BECAUSE I had a recurring argument with my husband! Nonsense. My feelings are there for a reason.
We like this guy. He explains it better than I can:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NY2NQ2Qth8satypical in presentation of side effects, super sensitive to small doses and general delayed responder. never took a psych med that didn't' make me sick immediately with infections and restless legs. have never been able to tolerate being on them, but have never had support to get off so I've been bouncing back and forth. i don't like capital letters. sorry.
Paxil — 1 mg — 2 yrs — holding until Oct. 7 doc appt.
Seroquel — 50 — planning taper |
trileptal -75 planning taper
prasozin 1 mg planning taper
started my psych med saga in 2001 and wish I never had. I had some difficulties with sleep and anxiety, but NOTHING like what was in store for me after trying every med out there. My last treatment center promised to "get me totally off" in 2022 but it was a lie. They just switched drugs and added more and more in a desperate attempt to help me "stabilize," so they could call me a "success story" once insurance stopped paying. I agree with those who state that this industry needs to change. AND I'm working on not being resentful about my suffering because it doesn't help anyone.
been on an off cocktails since 2001. Most recent mixture, prescribed in 2024: 20 mg Paxil, 150 Trileptal, 50 Seroquel, 2 mg prasozin, (for PTSD/nightmares.)
immediately went to 1 mg prasozin, and after 3 months cut to 10 mg paxil. No felt effects. Then went to 5 about 3 months later, (though I didnt' keep track so I'm rusty.) No felt effects. So, I've roughly been on 5 mg for a year and a half.
Side effects always force to to start tapering RIGHT AWAY.
I didn't start keeping track of my Paxil taper until this year. I went from 3mg to 1 in 10 months, using a liquid Maudsley-ish slow taper. Again, no felt effects until now.
October 2026...sleeping less and feeling more sedated during the day. Having trouble managing my social life without getting over-stimulated. Must set boundaries according to my body and not my heart.
Holding 1 mg paxil until blood work done and evaluated, and to see if build a social life that doesn't make me lose sleep. Sounds silly as I type it, but actually, nothing is "silly" on this ride! Everything is WILD!!!! LOL
Keeping all other meds the same. Sorry so long.
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