39th Effexor Update - Feeling Poor

5,5h sleep, took a nap after but that didn‘t do it. You see it in my face when i have a bad day: dark circles and kind of a long face without contour. Arguing with my self. Feeling hopeless, tired, unmotivated. Want to stay in bed while feeling bad about being in bed. Irritability and no joy. I spiral into bad thoughts but mostly manage to stop them, like a dam that drains. I‘m getting better in using mental models and come quicker to resolutions. But anyways, the bad feeling, the slowlyness in me stays, it‘s a little like withdrawl or a _hangover_! I just don’t get it. Man i want my old life back, this version of me is so unattractive. I wish i could measure whats happening on those days with me. Anyways: I need to practice, excercise and get something done or i feel worse. Let‘s do this somehow.