32nd Effexor Update - Feeling Okay

5,5h sleep but no nap. Did some work around the house, cut some videos (amateur..). Struggled with some depressive thoughts (not good enough, time‘s running out, money, high expectations) but managable and am calm again. I noticed that those thoughts start having some positive effect as an urge to work more on myself. This has been so lost on the Antidepressants, burried in a cozy neglect of what i indeed want in life. While it‘s uncomfortable to deal with these thoughts and feelings, it also drives me to get further, gives a strange energy. But don‘t get me wrong, for a long time there was only headache, tiredness and hopelessness, anyxiety and even worse physical and psychiatric symptoms. But maybe i more and more get small tastes of recovery. I‘m kind of excited to get to my dumbbells again. But i need to be cautious with myself to not spiral in too much self-optimization and possibly little helpers, mood’s still volatile and gosh i know myself. My nerval system isn‘t as forgiving as in my teens now. And the next „wave“ can come suddenly. Trying to stay grounded, focusing on the luck to not have severe symptoms, trying to look forward, enjoying the times when i feel calm. I tend to forget what kind of torturous hell i‘ve gotten to know so many times, should be more grateful and not pressing. Wish you all a good night fighters and stay strong or at least get through to the next day and the next and the… 💪👍🤗